Talk about your big day! No, not the bride, you! Being chosen as the maid of honor is one of the most exciting, frustrating, enjoyable and busy times you will ever experience in your life, all wrapped up into one. Why? Because you are THE go-to gal. Your job pretty much entails everything from being the busiest worker bee in the hive, to being the emotional rock on which the bride can lean to being the class of the party to being the person who does this all with very little thanks.
Sounds good? Well, too bad. Chances are that if you were chosen to be the maid of honor it was because you are responsible and close enough to the bride to do anything for her; and anything is just what you’re going to have to do! But don’t get me wrong. This is going to be one of the most rewarding experiences in your life when you see the smile on the bride’s face as she walks down the aisle.
So, without further ado, let’s hop right into the things that are expected out of you as the maid of honor!
As the maid of honor, do you know your duties?
Pre-Wedding Duties of The Maid of Honor
- The first thing you’ll be doing as the maid of honor is accompanying the bride and help her to look for wedding locations if she hasn’t done so already. Your duties here can vary from helping to decide the best date, time and location to just standing there nodding as the bride gushes over the begonias in the backyard. Basically, you’re there as backup in case the situation gets stressful or overwhelming.
- Next, you’ll assist the bride in choosing wedding cards and most likely addressing them all and helping send them out. Depending on how in-control the bride wants to be (or actually is), your role here may be purely supportive to handwriting 1,000 invitations to secretly outsourcing them to a bridal company. Basically, reduce the bride’s stress here no matter what.
- Choosing and ordering the decorations and wedding favors is next. Here, you’ll most likely play a major support role as opinions at this stage of the planning are both highly valued and quickly ignored at times. Be persistent but supporting; remember, this is her big day.
- Now, you get to go off on your own and have a little fun. Begin planning the bachelorette party. This includes games, gags, strippers, etc. Be sure to begin at this stage as you’ve already had a chance to look at the guest list where you discretely found out who the bride would want in attendance at her bachelorette party and copied down their contact info.
- As you’re planning the bachelorette party, also begin to plan the shower party as it’s your responsibility to make sure it goes off without a hitch. Enlist the help of the bridesmaids here so that you don’t go crazy. Think of them as your own personal maids of honor. They’ll be more than happy to help.
- Accompany the bride as she picks out the dresses. You are in charge of making sure all of the bride’s maids attend fittings and obtain their dresses. Help the bride in choosing the dresses if need be. It is your responsibility to pay for your own dress and shoes, unless otherwise stated. Pay strict attention to alteration schedules and delivery schedules. If anything goes wrong in this department, it falls on your shoulders. Attend as many fittings as possible.
- Attend every pre-nuptial party the bride and groom throw. Not only is it required of you, it is a great time to get to know the people who will be attending the wedding (and ask for any help you may need).
- If needed, attend the registry with the bride, especially if the groom is not attending. Then, it is your job to let all the guests know the location where the couple is registered.
- Seating arrangements can be a difficult and personal time so help the bride by being supportive and staying out of her way if need be. Of course if she looks overwhelmed, suggest things in a way that make it seem like it was her idea. Keep your own personal copy of the arrangements as a backup.
- Throw the bachelorette party and bridal shower. This is the fun part! Make sure you attend.
- Be sure to be there for rehearsal dinners and the like, complete with your set of notes you’ve been taken this whole time.
- Be available to the friends and family attending the wedding and keep track of any changes, cancellations and special needs or otherwise and then deal with them.
- Attend all bridal fairs and cake/catering tastings
Wedding Day Duties of The Maid of Honor
- Help the bride so that she can be prepared, ready and arrive on time to the ceremony.
- Assist her in getting her makeup and dress put on properly.
- You are the only contact the bride should have with the outside world (friends, family, groom). Be the messenger and use your discretion as to what should be delivered.
- Make periodic rounds throughout the reception hall and also the party room to ensure there is no problem.
- Witness when the couple signs the marriage license.
- Remind the bride about the train wedding dress so she doesn’t trip!!
- Be there emotionally for the bride.
- Hold the bouquet of the bride during the wedding ceremony.
- Hold the groom’s ring (hint: put it on your thumb) until it’s asked for.
- Make a speech and toast at the wedding
- Keep an eye on the money bags at all times
- Enjoy yourself!
Being chosen to be a maid of honor is, well, a great honor which you should thoroughly appreciate and enjoy. Follow these duties and tips above and you should be able to pull this off without a hitch (except for the two people getting hitched!)