If you’ve ever seen the movie footage of Godzilla crashing through Japan, crushing and destroying everything in his path, you can probably get a great mental picture of how a Bridezilla appears to others. People run from her fury as she throws niceties and politeness to the wind; her friends avoid her like the Japanese running from Godzilla’s crushing rampage.
But why is the Bridezilla Syndrome so prevalent in today’s society? Were there always Bridezillas and we’re just now noticing them thanks to cable television, or is a result of modernity?
The Modern Bride to Be and Bridezilla – How Wedding Trends Caused the Problems
The Bridezilla is undoubtedly a modern construct. The term was most likely coined by a frustrated wedding planner, but it really catapulted to popularity with the 2001 cable television show, Bridezillas. Ironically, the show was originally titled Manhattan Brides but the New York brides-to-be the crew followed around proved to be so wildly scary and out of control, the show’s title was promptly changed to fit the bill.
But that’s not to say that Bridezillas weren’t around before 2001; in fact, most people in the wedding planning business can probably attest to the fact that planning and executing a wedding is a very stressful process – even for professionals. And it’s this pressure that causes many brides to transform into Bridezillas.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that they’re bad people but unfortunately, others might view them as such. There’s a term used by psychologists called the Fundamental Attribute Error which explains how people judge others’ actions and associate them with the person’s personality, not situation. In other words, when you see someone cut you off on the highway, you automatically think they’re is a jerk; what you don’t think is they could be rushing to the hospital to see the birth of their baby.
Unfortunately, many people will shy away from Bridezillas as they’ll think the person has changed or their true nature finally surfaced. What they don’t realize is that it’s the actual modern wedding process that turns a normal bride-to-be into a Bridezilla.
Dreaming about the Perfect Wedding Can Unleash Your Inner Bridezilla
The Bridezilla Syndrome can all be traced back to childhood, as with most adult behavioral patterns. So many women spend their time dreaming up the perfect wedding, talking with their girlfriends about it and planning everything down to the very last detail, that when it comes time to put those dreams into motion, the expectations often exceed the reality. This can have a crushing effect on the bride, who sees everything as falling apart, even though they might not be.
The stress of planning the wedding then begins to compound the problem by bringing the (seemingly) weight of the world down on her shoulders. There is so much to do when planning a wedding; it’s quite easy to become overwhelmed. For instance, you might have to deal with band cancelations, relatives bickering over seating arrangements, deciding which people to invite and which you can’t afford to, problems with the location, scheduling issues, catering issues, dress issues, inflated costs – the list goes on and on. In fact, it’s no wonder women can turn into Bridezillas solely based on Murphy’s Law – anything that can go wrong, will.
This can be disheartening to a person who has spent their whole life building up their dreams to this very day, only to have them finally within their grasp, yet slowly slipping away. So, the Bridezilla is born; a fiery, raging tempest – a vision in white, screaming and snarling at those she loves most.
Signs of the Bridezilla Syndrome
So, how can you spot a Bridezilla? Well, apart from the comical image of a Bridezilla rampaging down the aisle flinging cake at the fleeing guests as the band plays Godzilla’s theme song, there are some more concrete signs you should look for. For instance, making irrational demands of others’ time and money can be a major sign a Bridezilla has showed up at your wedding. One such situation manifested itself in a Bridezilla demanding people show up two weeks before the wedding to attend daily rehearsals to make sure the wedding went off without a hitch. The guests were to pay for their own lodging and accommodations as well as for their group (and for some, private) dance lessons.
Of course, looking in from the outside, you can see how ridiculously self-centered this is of the bride, to expect her guests to take weeks out of their lives and spend thousands of dollars. The Bridezilla screamed, pouted and guilted her way into getting some family members to do it, but most quickly declined and didn’t attend the wedding at all. You can only imagine what this did to the familial and friendly relationships after the wedding.
And while that’s not a sign of Bridezilla Syndrome, it certainly is an outcome. Bridezillas often wind up alienating their siblings, parents, grandparents, best friends and others they care about. Unfortunately, once the damage is done, it is often done for good – unless the Bridezilla snaps out of it and throws herself at their mercy.
Another sign of the Bridezilla Syndrome is overreacting to every little thing. For instance, one Bridezilla flipped an entire table full of food onto the floor just because the strawberries at the rehearsal had not been dipped in chocolate. Apparently, the chocolate covered strawberries were necessary to get the full feel of the wedding and having just regular strawberries present (even though nobody was eating them) ruined her entire wedding.
Imagine that for a second – a strawberry ruined your entire wedding. It sounds ridiculous from the outside, but to a person overcome with the Bridezilla Syndrome, it’s all too real. This tends to lead to micro-managing by the Bridezilla as she feels the process is getting away from her. Of course, taking on even more duties leads to more stress (as well as exposes the Bridezilla to everything else that is going wrong) causing the Syndrome to worsen.
Finally, a Bridezilla will often be completely impatient, bossy and ungrateful. Embroiled in the wild throes of Bridezilla Syndrome, the bride-to-be will completely lose sight of the true meaning of her wedding day. Instead, she will feel as if she is surrounded by incompetent idiots so will rush to get things done. Demands will be made without any politeness or gratitude. All manners will go out the window and the Bridezilla will stop at nothing to get her “perfect” wedding.
Bridezillas Ruin the Wedding Day No Matter What
In the end, what the wedding often turns out becoming is a time nobody wants to remember. Even if the Bridezilla is successful and achieves the outward appearance of the perfect wedding, it’s a safe bet to say that no one who attended will be showing up at the couple’s house for dinner or any anniversary parties for the next few decades.
So, if you’re a bride-to-be that wants to know exactly how you can prevent from transforming into a raging Bridezilla yourself, click here